The Heat vs. The Mavericks. Can They Both Lose Please?

Man, what a choice. Miami against Dallas for the NBA title. Red state versus purple. The city where my beloved JFK was murdered and the ensuing investigation whitewashed, bleached, botched, bungled, fabricated and processed into the biggest pile of nonsense in the history of American crime.


Dallas - a place where we're forced to watch George W. Bush, an economy and foreign affairs wrecker who did more to destroy the American middle class than Hitler, Tojo and Khruschev could ever have imagined, sit next to Nolan Ryan who in my book was the most unhittable pitcher who ever threw a baseball in the majors. Heads up on that pop up Dubya! Better luck next time. And of course we all know how the Miami Heat got to this point. Pat Riley shipping everyone and everything not Crazy Glued to the floor at the American Airlines Arena out of South Beach to clear cap space for LeBron, Dwayne and Bosh.

It's funny to look back ten months after LBJ's "Decision" and recall how so many hoop experts were saying that the Heat were top heavy and didn't have the bench guys to win it all. How center Joel Anthony was a zero in the paint and how the Heat would melt fast because they didn't have a point guard. Well Anthony's lefty layup during Miami's 18-3 run in the closing minutes of game five went through the hole and counted for two just like any of Luc Longley's when he took up space between Pippen and Rodman.

And yes, Mike Bibby went scoreless with just two assists, and Mario Chalmers had just four points off the bench. But LeBron's 28 including a pair of throat-stomping three's in the final four minutes along with Wade's 21 were enough to make up for it. Bosh's 20 and 10 meant the "Heatles" scored 69 of Miami's 83 points. Bench? Like Cheech or Chong (I still don't remember who was who) would say, "I don't need no stinkin' bench!"

 Here I was at a local sports restaurant having the greatest hot wings I ever had, watching and almost rooting for the Heat. I say almost because even though I moved to South Florida six years ago, I can't root for a non-New York team. I'm sure the United States Supreme Court of Sports would rule in my favor if I claimed a new allegiance because of my address, but I just can't do it. James Dolan or no. I do admit though that as the game went on, I fantasized that I was rooting for LeBron. Just to see what it would feel like if he took the challenge of bright lights, bumper-to bumper traffic and an Inspector Clouseau-like owner and signed with the Knicks. It felt pretty cool. Instead of squirming in my chair hoping he'd miss on a drive through the lane, I imagined him doing it for my guys. And it worked. He came up huge in the final minutes just like he did all his career with the exception of last year's Cavs loss in Boston.

So it's come down to this. Miami, a place with hands-down the worst drivers in North America and a state with a newly-elected governor who's approval rating is already down to 29%, against Dallas a city in a state who's former governor was a major player in wrecking my net worth. My "decision" is Miami. After all, Pat Riley did do one pretty good job for us back in the mid 90's.