Dodgers Dodge A Bullet (For The Time Being)

In the days of the Wild West, a place some of our politicians want to take us back to, snake oil salesman made their livings selling worthless elixirs and potions to the simple minded promising cures for everything that ailed them. Today we get bombarded every hour of every day by their great great children who tell us via talk radio and Fox News that it's best to let the richest of the rich, the most influential insiders in our society do whatever they want. We will all benefit. Trickle down effect. Belly laugh, guffaw...Who needs rules and regulations? When Mr. Moneybags takes more of our money through tax breaks, it'll mean bigger paychecks for the rest of us. Just keep waiting for the mailman, it's coming soon. Just like the missing hair on our heads returning via The Helsinki Formula.

I think MLB is getting a taste of its own snake oil. The Dodgers, the game's second most storied franchise is officially bankrupt. The canvass with the Duke, Jackie, Gil, Sandy and Orel just had a big bucket of stinking slop thrown at it by team owner Frank McCourt. We aren't talking about a minor league hockey team having it's books wiggled and jiggled by its owner and then everybody losing their jobs because of it like I experienced first hand ten years ago in Arizona. Buried somewhere on the back page of the Tucson Pennysaver. This is The Dodgers people! Now commissioner Bud Selig and the owners he represents should be thinking long and hard why they allowed McCourt to buy the team in 2004 without a penny of his own money! That's right, $430 million bucks and none of it his own. Kinda reminds me of those late night "Make Millions in Real Estate With No Money Down" scams. Big money. Big profits. Lots of chics. No work. Awsome!

 Big Trouble in LA LA Land

The hanky panky began in 2009 when on the eve of the NLCS Frank and his ex Jamie announced they were separating after 30 years of marriage. A week later Frank sent Jamie, who was the Dodgers CEO a letter asking her to contact human relations and work out a time to clear out her office and scram. Then according to the LA Times, a little less than a year later the Dodgers Dream Foundation comes under investigation by the California attorney general's office for payments it made to club executive Howard Sunkin. According to tax returns, Sunkin, the charity's chief executive, earned a salary of nearly $400,000 in 2007, almost a quarter of the foundation's budget. Nothing to worry about, everything's under control says the commish.

Three months later, the paper reports, the judge in the divorce case invalidates the post nuptial marital property agreement that Frank had claimed provided him with sole ownership of the Dodgers.  McCourt's lawyers said Frank would use other legal avenues to establish his sole ownership of the Dodgers, while Jamie McCourt's lawyers said she would be confirmed as the co-owner of the team because it was community property of their marriage. Ah, now it's finally sinking in. Last April, Selig appoints a trustee to see what the hell was going on. This gets Frank out of the picture as far as running the team goes.

It looked like Frank and Jamie had a deal worked out, but it all depended on Selig approving a long term, very expensive tv contract with Fox. But Selig basically says, "Frankly Frank, the deal stinks." So this unravels the agreement between the McCourts and really puts Frank on the hot seat.

The Rat Gets Cornered

Now it's the bottom of the ninth with the Blue and White down by three but there's no steroid - pumped Manny at the plate. Just a good 'ol American entrepreneur doing the best he could to keep the dream alive.
An estimated $30 million dollars in payroll is due at the end of the week ($7 million of it going to Manny who last we heard was vacationing with dad somewhere in Spain).

So what to do? The only thing he can do, declare bankruptcy. And that's what he did. But he also managed to get a $150 million interim loan. That means if the bankruptcy court approves it Tuesday, McCourt would meet Thursday's payroll deadline and could still call the shots throughout the bankruptcy proceedings.

Doesn't Matter Franky, You're Still Toast

Selig though, says the bridge loan doesn't change a thing and does even more damage to the franchise. League rules say if an owner declares bankruptcy the commissioner can kick him out. But bankruptcy court proceeding usually override MLB rules. So for the time being, Frank is still able to fog the mirror.

The bottom line is this: the commissioner and the owners want him gone a.s.a.p. So do the fans. So does every sane person who has ever been the victim of a fraud. And the guy who I really feel sorry for? Donnie Baseball, a.k.a. manager Don Mattingly who waited patiently years and years for his chance to manage. The guy who was the heart and sole of a Yankees team that finally made the playoffs for the first time in his career in the last year of his career only to lose a heartbreaking ALCS game five in Seattle. And then they go out and win it all a year later after his retirement. Now all he has to show in his rookie season on the bench is a 35-44 record and a once-proud franchise that's now broke.

Like Snake Oil Sam said, "Step right up folks...it will heal anything that bothers you..."

Are The Mets Really Worth Just A Buck? Talk About Ripoffs!

Bad things sure do happen when you're in a financial mess. Just ask Mets owner Fred Wilpon. His dealings with crook extraordinaire Bernie Madoff is launching him into the real world of knocking your brains out to make a crap living.

How did that song go on the tv show Good Times? You know the one about a a struggling black family in Chicago in the '70's just trying to make ends meet starring Jimmy Walker? The lyrics went like this:

Good Times.
Any time you meet a payment.
Good Times.
Any time you need a friend.
Good Times.
Any time you're out from under.

Not getting hastled, not getting hustled.
Keepin' your head above water,
Making a wave when you can.

Temporary lay offs.
Good Times.
Easy credit rip offs.
Good Times.
Scratchin' and surviving.
Good Times.
Hangin in a chow line
Good Times.
Ain't we lucky we got 'em
Good Times.

  

In 2002 Wilpon bought out the rest of Nelson Doubleday Jr.'s stake in the Mets for $135 million. Including the 2002 season, the Mets win total looks like this: 75, 66, 71, 83, 97, 88, 89, 70, and 79. Their best year came in 2006 but came crashing down in game seven of the NLCS when Carlos Beltran, with the bases loaded and two outs in the ninth, down by two, struck out looking against Adam Wainwright.

Then, sometime during the eight years of Bush deregulation which gave birth to Enron and $800 a month electric bills along with a Herbert Hoover 1930's economy among other wonderful things, Wilpon played financial footsie with Madoff and his now legendary Ponzi scheme. It was reported that Wilpon lost about $700 million. But Madoff's bubble burst in December 2008, and Wilpon revised his figures saying his “losses” were a lot less. In fact, reports later had Wilpon actually making $300 million on the deal. Give this man a tax break John Boehner! Alas, in December Wilpon was named in lawsuit by other “investors” and now faces a $1 billion tab if he loses.

All this of course puts “W” in about the same place Beltran was against Wainwright in the 2006 NLCS. Down by two, bottom of the ninth just struggling to stay alive. Last month, Wilpon said the Mets could lose $70 million this season and that Madoff was actually once offered a stake in the team. Kinda like when Dick Cheney offered Enron executive and thief-to-be Ken Lay the position of head of the U.S. Treasury back in 2001.

Brother, Can You Spare A Dime?

Well because his baseball empire, much like the Mets did in September of 2008 and 2009, is about to pull a major Humpty Dumpty, an investor appears to have come to the “rescue.” Hedge Fund manager David Einhorn has agreed to buy a $200 minority share in the Mets mess. He runs Greenlight Capital RE Ltd., a Cayman Islands based reinsurance company (ahhh, there's something about a Cayman Islands outfit that makes me feel real confident about this whole thing). But Einhorn didn't make his mega millions being a putz (not the J.J. kind anyway).

According to Forbes.com, if the Wilpon family doesn't pay Einhorn back his $200 million in three years, Einhorn can obtain a 60% stake in the Mets for an additional $1. Yes you read right. $1. Enough for half of an Egg McMuffin without ham. And according to ESPN.com, Einhorn would still control 1/6 of the team if the Wilpon's do pay him back his original $200 million investment.

So Einhorn's $200 million could keep the Mets from becoming property of MLB like the old Montreal Expos and possibly the LA Dodgers, for the time being anyway.

And what if Wilpon loses his Madoff lawsuit? Terms of the deal won't matter because Wilpon will be next door neighbors in the projects with JJ.

Good Times. Ain't we lucky we got 'em?

LeBron, You Look Like You're Throwing Games on Purpose

Yeah, it's unthinkable. The NBA's greatest player, two-time defending MVP LeBron James throwing a game. Ridiculous! Who would do such a thing? What would he have to gain? The most sought after free agent in NBA history - the guy who held sports fans (and Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert) captive for months before letting the world know where he was taking his talents - LeBron James on the take? Isn't that something you see in some old 1940's flick during a Cubs rain out?

Of course no one would be stupid enough to throw a game, especially in the championship round. Well come to think of it, it did happen at least once that we know of. Eight members of the 1919 Chicago White Sox were banned for life for throwing the World Series to the Cincinnati Reds. First baseman Arnold Gandil, who had connections to the mob, convinced his friend and professional gambler Joseph Sullivan that the Series could be fixed. The rest is history. Say it ain't so, Joe, but Joe knew better. And considering how big baseball was back then, it was unthinkable.


But basketball's different, right? No. No different. There was the college basketball point shaving scandal in the late 1940's and early 1950's. Several star players including a few on the CCNY team in 1951 took bribes from gamblers and in return saw to it that their teams didn't cover the spread. It also happened in 1981 at Boston College. And at Arizona State in 1997. And a year later at Northwestern. Oh yes, wasn't there an NBA ref named Tim Donaghy who worked NBA games for 13 seasons who bet on games he officiated from 2005 -2007 and made calls affecting the point spread in those games?

Having an off night in any sport is just part of the game. But there's something not right here with LeBron. Is he hiding an injury? Maybe. But I don't see it. No limp, no grimacing, no hobbling onto the court on one leg like Willis Reed did before game seven against the Lakers in May of 1970. Flu? In game four Dirk had a 102 degree fever and hacked and wheezed his way to a 21 point (10 in the fourth quarter) 11 rebound night. Are you telling me that all of a sudden in one week James goes from an Adonis/sharpshooting hybrid to an eight point South Beach talentless garbage-time scrub? Or that a guy with his drive and pride suddenly doesn't care?

Probably the most likely explanation for LeBron's new zombie style is that he's either physically and/or mentally drained. But that in itself is tough to swallow because Dwayne Wade has to be just as tired and he's on his way to the Finals MVP. He's driving hard to the basket while LBJ has the best seat in the house - to the right of the foul line.

I guess time will eventually tell and we'll find out the truth. I sure hope it doesn't involve a perp walk.

Shaquille, You Shoulda Done This Sooner

I saw Mantle do it. I saw Namath do it (and I'm not talking about their working relationship as owners of a temp agency in the '70's called Mantle Men and Namath Girls), and I saw Willie Mays do it and enemies like Celtics center Dave Cowens, Orioles shortstop-third baseman Cal Ripken and pitcher Jim Palmer do it. Now I can say I saw Shaq do it. Hang 'em up way, way, way after he should've.   

Mantle, who not only hit for average but had gorilla power from both sides of the plate (and is the all-time leader in walk-off home runs with 13) and had race horse speed, could barely walk in his final season in 1968 and was exiled to first base. He destroyed any chance he had to finish with a .300 career batting average when he hit .237 that year.

By 1973, Namath's arthritic knees were about as bad as a Bangkok hooker's, and I'm not sure what was more excruciating to watch - him feebly scrambling away from Dolphins linebacker Manny Fernandez or his backup, Al Woodall attempting to hit tight end Rich Caster eight feet away. After getting picked 28 times in 1975 and 16 a year later, Namath finally bolted Broadway and finished up his Hall of Fame career in 1977 with the L.A. Rams where he played in just four games. Joe Willie in a Rams uni looked about as ridiculous as Prince Charles driving a Yugo.


But the most pathetic of all was seeing 42-year-old Willie Mays, arguably the greatest all around ball player ever, fall down while chasing a fly ball in the 1973 World Series against the Oakland A's. Say Hey Willie should've said "hey, that's it for me" after the 1967 season when he dropped from 37 home runs to 22. He hit just 40 more in his final three seasons.

Now we have the big, cuddly, lovable and quotable Shaq signing off after 19 seasons. How can anyone not like a 7-1, 325 pound guy who always seemed to have fun? Especially after making a fool of himself in the 1996 train wreck "Kazaam?" Or when was asked about then-rookie Yao Ming, O'Neal told a reporter, "you tell Yao Ming, ching chong yang, wah, ah so." And his legendary feud with Kobe and his antics with the media will be fodder for sports talk radio for years to come.

Let's face it. He was the centerpiece for three straight Lakers titles, four altogether. He led the league in scoring twice and finished with a 23.7 average. But his last decent year was 2008-2009 when he averaged 17.8 points and 8.4 rebounds for the Suns. When you start moving from city to city like an '80's hair band, you know you've hung on too long. He shuffled through four towns - Miami, Phoenix, Cleveland and Boston in his final seven seasons. And the past two years were a complete waste. He played in just 90 out 164 games and averaged 12 and 9 points respectively.

OK, Shaq scored lots of points - 28,596 of them. But do you remember how he scored them? For the most part, they were dunks or shots within five feet of the basket. He led the league in field goal percentage 10 times. No surprise with that size and strength. He couldn't shoot a jumper and had no hook shot like Jabbar. He was a complete lunatic at the foul line hitting just 53% - hell, I hit 75% when I played street ball in Queens. In fact, in 19 seasons he hit just one three-pointer! I'll never forget a playoff game during his final title year with the Lakers when he took a foul shot and chucked a line drive off the front of the rim. Phil Jackson sat on the bench with his hands palms-up and said, "What the hell was that?"

There are greats and then there are GREATS. But I have a lot more respect for a great who quits while he's still ahead.

Without a doubt Shaq will be a first ballot Hall of Famer. But just like with Mickey, Joe, and Willie,  it sure was hard to see him out there the last couple of seasons.